[中文歌詞] Eminem - Tone Deaf 音盲

 #Eminem #中文歌詞 #MusicToBeMurderedBySideB

※版權歸 Eminem 所有※

※All rights belong to Eminem※

原歌曲連結:https://youtu.be/qleJpzB4q7A

．個人感想．

歌名我本來是想翻「音癡」的

不過後來發現「音癡」好像比較是用來形容唱歌五音不全的人

但這首卻比較像是偏向指「聽不懂人話」的那種人

所以我就上網找了有沒有類似意思的詞

就改翻為「音盲」了

雖然這詞不常見就是了

希望大家懂這意思

這首的 flow 跟韻腳真的玩得很扯

最明顯的就是第一段主歌的：

「Cadillac with a ladder rack in the back

With a cracked axel, a backpack full of Paxil

A black satchel, a knapsack

And a flask full of 'gnac and Jack Daniels」

（rhyme scheme 連結：https://youtu.be/fi7L_oG19QU）

聽感整個就超爽

另外文字遊戲也是

聽過這首歌的人應該最有印象的就是「bornana」吧

我第一次聽到真的覺得超好笑

不過話說回來

我也是因為 Eminem 的關係

才知道並開始嘗試「扭曲韻腳發音」這件事

雖然說這種技巧比較適用於英文

但如果中文歌詞可以運用得好的話

想必也可以玩得跟他一樣帥吧

而這首MV有個很有趣的點

我過去一直沒注意到

就是它影片上方的彩色時間軸

應該說 我一直有注意到

只是從來沒有嘗試搞清楚把那時間軸理清後的結果為何

直到某天我看到國外有網友自己製作了「in order」版的MV

（連結：https://youtu.be/V0dteoLisBE）

我才稍微對整首歌的歌詞事件發展有所了解

可能有些人會不太懂

會覺得說：「既然歌詞順序應該是這樣，那幹嘛不一開始歌曲編排就這樣就好？」

我個人猜測是因為整體聽感上順暢（smooth）的問題

畢竟如果按照「in order」版的MV編排歌詞的話

你就會聽到主歌唱沒兩句就要接副歌的詭異安排

而且按照 Eminem 這樣的編排

韻腳方面也會聽起來比較順

我自己在寫詞的時候

有時候也會寫著寫著就會遇到

「靠北，這段好像插在前面那段比較好欸，但我 flow 跟韻腳都編排好了怎麼辦」

之類的窘境

我通常最後是會直接刪掉整段

不過 Eminem 這種做法我倒是真的沒想過

滿有趣的

．Lyrics 歌詞．

It's my alter ego's fault

都是我另一個人格的錯

These evil thoughts could be so dark

害我這些邪惡的思維愈來愈黑暗

Cerebral palsy, three Zolofts

腦部癱瘓，來個三份抗憂鬱藥

I eat, doze off to "Rico Suave"

吃了後我昏睡進「Rico Suave」般的夢境

Cadillac with a ladder rack in the back

我的凱迪拉克後側裝著置梯架

With a cracked axel, a backpack full of Paxil

佩著把破斧，和一整個背包的抗憂鬱藥

A black satchel, a knapsack

還有一個黑色小背包、一個大背包

And a flask full of 'gnac and Jack Daniels

跟一整瓶裝滿白蘭地和威士忌的燒瓶

Girl, let's go back-back to my castle

女孩，讓我們回到我們我的城堡

I don't wanna hassle you, Alexandra

Alexandra 我不想找你麻煩

But my dick's an acronym

但我的老二是個首字母縮略詞

'cause it stands for you

就代表著你

Wait, Alexandra who?

等等，哪個 Alexandra？

All I know is Friday, I met you

我只知道禮拜五我遇見了妳

Saturday, I'll probably forget you

禮拜六或許我就忘了妳

Guess that's what the Molly and ex do

我猜這大概就是搖頭丸和我前妻會做的事

'Cause who the fuck am I laying next to?

我到底他媽的在床上是跟誰共枕？

But ev?r since D-Nice To Tha Rescu?, Fila Fresh Crew

自從聽到了 D-Nice 的「To Tha Rescu?」和 Fila Fresh Crew 的歌後

I been a lab rat from a test tube

我就決心當隻白老鼠，穿梭在那透明管中

I'm goin' in-nn like the red roof

在那進出，像在那紅色屋頂的建築

You don't like it, eat a cock 'til your jaw breaks

你不喜歡，就去吃屌吃到下巴脫臼啦

Call it caught between a rock and a hard place

畢竟我的屌就堅硬得像科顆石頭一樣

Like a sasquatch in a crawlspace

像是爬行在陰暗小穴中的野人

'Cause you're watchin' your heart race like you're Scarface

而你就像面紅耳赤的疤面

In a car chase with the cops

被困在與警察的追逐戰中

Or an arcade stuck inside of a Mario Kart race

或是卡在電子遊樂場中的瑪莉歐賽車裡

Duckin' saw blades at a stop and a start pace

在起點和終點躲避著滿地的鋸片

What I'm tryin' to say is I'm drivin' 'em all crazy

我想表達的是，我讓全車的人都跟著瘋狂了

I can't understand a word you say

我聽不懂你說的任何一個字

I think this way I prefer to stay

我想我比較偏好這種說話方式

I won't stop even when my hair turns grey

直到我頭髮變得灰白的那天，我也不會停下

'Cause they won't stop until they cancel me

因為除非他們真的擊垮我了，否則他們也不會停下

I see the rap game, then attack the verses

我看到饒舌遊戲，就開始不斷用詞句攻擊敵人

Turn into a graveyard packed with hearses

把這圈子變成了滿是靈車的墓園

Just like your funeral, I'm at your service

就像你的喪禮，我隨時準備好替你打理

Pockets 'on stuff' like a taxidermist

像是動物標本師，將東西填滿我的口袋

Just landed in Los Angeles

剛降落在洛杉磯

When this chick Angela and her grandmother

這位小姐 Angela 就跟她的祖母

In a tan colored van pull up

停下她們那臺褐棕色的廂型車

With a handful of Xans and a substantial amount of gan'

滿手捧著一堆鎮靜劑和大量的大麻

Just to ask what my plans for the night are

只為了向我詢問我夜晚的計畫

I said, "Sneak into the Sleep Inn for the weekend"

我說：「潛入旅館住一整個週末」

"And pretend it's a five-star,"

「再假裝那是個五星級的體驗」

Yeah, or leap into the deep end of the pool

或是跳進那泳池游到底端

I can show you where the dives are, ha

我能示範什麼叫做潛水，哈

We don't even gotta drive far

我們甚至不需要開多遠的路

I know this spot that is so live

我知道不遠處有個滿熱鬧的點

But I'm tryna get some head first, like a nosedive

但在那之前我想先體驗下妳頭部的服務，讓它在我下體來回點頭

So many side chicks

身邊一堆妹子

Can't decide which to slide with and which should I ditch

無法決定接下來要幹哪個或拋棄哪個

So when it comes to ass, bitch, I get behind like the Heimlich

而說到要從後面來的話，我的姿勢堪比哈姆立克

Had one chick who liked to flip sometimes

其中一個小妞喜歡一直在床上翻來覆去

On some switchin' sides shit

說什麼想要交換位置

Pushed her out the Sidekick

我把她踢出我的後宮

Then I flipped the lil' white bitch off like a light switch

再像擺弄電燈開關般隨意地對她比出中指

It's okay not to like my shit

妳不喜歡我的東西沒差

Everything's fine, drink your wine, bitch

真的沒有關係，但妳就乖乖喝酒就好，賤人

And get offline, quit whinin'

等妳斷片後，也別再哀怨了

This is just a rhyme, bitch

我只不過是在玩押韻而已，媽的

But ask me, will I stick to my guns like adhesive tape?

而妳問我的信念會不會像膠帶一般穩固？

Does Bill Cosby sedate once he treats to cheesecake and a decent steak?

難道妳吃了比爾·寇司比的起司蛋糕和上好牛排後還可能鎮靜嗎？

You think gettin' rid of me's a piece of cake?

你認為你能夠輕易逃出我的視線？

I'm harder than findin' Harvey Weinstein a date

我的掌控可比哈維·溫斯坦的約會還要硬派

And that's why they say I got more lines than Black Friday

因此人們才說我歌詞多到用黑色星期五的排隊人潮來數都數不完

So save that sssshit for the damn library

所以就省了你圖書館那套的噓聲狗屁

You heard of Kris Kristofferson?

聽過克里斯托佛森？

Well, I am Piss Pissedofferson

呃，我是徹底生剝活吞

Paul's askin' for Christmas off again

Paul 又在跟我討要聖誕節假期

I said, "No," then I spit this song for him

我說：「不要，」然後送了他這首歌

It goes

是這麼唱的

I can't understand a word you say

我聽不懂你說的任何一個字

I think this way I prefer to stay

我想我比較偏好這種說話方式

I won't stop even when my hair turns grey

直到我頭髮變得灰白的那天，我也不會停下

'Cause they won't stop until they cancel me

因為除非他們真的擊垮我了，否則他們也不會停下

Bitch, I can make "orange" rhyme with "banana"

媽的，看我讓「柑橘」跟「香蕉」押韻

Bornana

香橘蕉

Eating pork rinds, sword fightin' in pajamas

吃著炸豬皮，穿著睡衣擊劍

At the crib, playin' Fortnite with your grandma

坐在嬰兒床裡，跟你阿嬤玩要塞英雄

But I'm more like a four-five with the grammar

但我還是比較偏好像把玩槍枝般玩弄文法

'Bout to show you why your five favorite rappers can't touch this

就讓你們看看為何你們的前五大饒舌歌手就是達不到我的層級

But before I get the hammer

而在我拿起這鎚子前

I should warn you, I'm Thor-like in this manner

我該先警告你，接下來我會跟索爾沒兩樣

But the day I lose sleep over you critiquin' me

但等到哪天你們這些人的評論真的害我失眠

Or I ever let you cocksuckers eat at me

或是我讓你們這些王八蛋真的爬到我頭上來

I'd need to be a motherfuckin' pizzeria

可能得等到我轉行去開披薩店

But you ain't gettin' no cheese from me

不過你們還是永遠無法從我這裡得到你們想要的

I went from Little Caesars, BLTses, grilled cheeses

而我從小凱薩、培根生菜番茄三明治、烤乾酪

Bein' dirt poor to filthy rich, I'm still me, bitch

從吃土般的貧困到令人嫉妒的富有，我都沒變，婊子

Like a realtor, that's real tea, bitch

像個房仲，這是真的八卦，賤人

Aftermath, bitch, whole camp's lit

Aftermath，婊子，一整個火熱的團隊

We put out fire, Dre stamps it

但我們收斂起了氣焰，Dre 教我們的

With my cohorts, hit a bogart

跟著我的兄弟們，處理那些自私的廢物

Yeah, got your whole squad yellin', "Oh, God"

沒錯，讓你們整個團隊大叫著：「噢，老天」

Here comes Barshall with no holds barred

Barshall 來了，沒有極限的

Bitch, I'm a hurricane, you're a blowhard

婊子，我吹著颶風，你卻只會吹牛

Like your old broad, she full of semen, like the coast guard

像你家那老女人，滿嘴精液，活像個救生員

And life's been pretty good to me so far, for the most part

而到目前為止，人生對我待遇還算不錯，至少大部分時候是如此

Had a couple of run-ins with po-po, caught

有時難免會遭遇一些警察追逐

A couple assault charges, got a few priors like crowbars

得到幾次襲擊指控，開始有了先見之明，像是下次改用翹棍

Which is so odd 'cause I'm forty-eight now

這也是滿弔詭的，畢竟我也四十八歲了

That 5-0's startin' to creep up on me like a patrol car

條子仍舊不斷跟蹤著我，彷彿巡邏車會自動導向我

I'll be an old fart

我或許是個老屁股了

But you don't want no part, so, bitch, don't start

但你最好還是別想惹我，婊子，別想起頭

Simmer down, compose yourself, Mozart

冷靜點，打理下自己的情緒，想像自己是莫札特

I ain't went nowhere, call me coleslaw

我不會去其他地方，你可叫我「涼拌生菜」

'Cause I'm out for the cabbage and I'm so raw

用高麗菜製成的，風格就跟我一樣原始

And if time is money, you have no clocks

要是時間是金錢的話，可說你甚至不值鐘錶

And any folk caught within close proximity's gettin' cold-cocked

而任何一個接近我的敵人都會被我狠狠揍上幾拳

My enemies, I'm a chimney, give me the smoke, opps

敵人們啊，我就像是煙囪，讓我看看你們的灰頭土臉

And R.I.P. to King Von, and it don't stop, and I know not

願 King Von 安息，你的精神永不止，我知道它不會的

What the fuck you say?

你他媽剛說什麼？

I told y'all, it ain't me, it's my alter ego's fault

就跟你說了，那不是我，都是我另一個人格害的

But if y'all wanna cancel me, no prob

而要是你們嘗試把我從檯面上拉下的話，沒問題

I'll tell you the same thing I told Paul

我會給你們跟 Paul 一樣的答案

I can't understand a word you say

我聽不懂你說的任何一個字

I think this way I prefer to stay

我想我比較偏好這種說話方式

I won't stop even when my hair turns grey

直到我頭髮變得灰白的那天，我也不會停下

'Cause they won't stop until they cancel me

因為除非他們真的擊垮我了，否則他們也不會停下